Letting Go of My Best Friend
Learning to trust your gut and let go is a real process
A year ago, I ended my friendship with my bestie of 25 years. If you’d told me in March 2020 the relationship would be over by the end of the pandemic, I’d never have believed you.
I don’t consider the friendship a failure because it ended. We had a harmonious bond for many years. In hindsight I know it’s because we were broken in compatible ways.
As I became more self-aware and healed some damaged places, the dynamic gradually changed. The more self-actualized version of me started to understand how one-sided the relationship was. Over the course of five years, the mild chafing of unmet needs became a more and more gaping problem.
Maxine and I seemed to effortlessly connect in the beginning. I remember at our first lunch, she showed me a professional portrait of her cats. I respected her for that — people often look down on women who love cats that much, for whatever reason.
Maxine wasn’t afraid to be herself, and I admired that.
It took a few years for us to go from casual friends to really close. She left our workplace soon after I arrived. After that, we’d connect as part of a larger group every few months.
